Yini okufanele uyenze uma inja yesaba ukuduma kwezulu?

Qaphela ukuthi umbono wezinja uhlukile kowethu nawe. Uma kuphela ukushaywa kwezulu okukhulu nokungalindelekile kungenza mina nawe siqhaqhazele, khona-ke izinja zingase zizizwele izinguquko zokucindezela komkhathi. Ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka kungabangelwa umoya ovunguzayo kanye namafu amnyama asondelayo.

Izinja azikwesabi kakhulu ukuduma kwezulu ngokwawo, kodwa kunalokho isenzakalo esingavamile esingavamile ngokujwayelekile, lapho isilwane esifuywayo singakalungi. Izingxenye zalesi simo semvelo zingabangela ukwesaba. Abangane abanemilenze emine bavame ukwesaba imisindo ebukhali ebukhali (ukuduma, umsindo wemvula), ukukhanya okukhanyayo okukhanyayo, okufana neziqhumane.

Uma inja ngaphambi nje kokuduma kwezulu noma ngesikhathi sokuduma kwezulu kuthuthumela, ukukhala, ukukhonkotha, izama ukucasha ekhoneni elicashile ukuze yenze umuzwa wokulondeka, khona-ke wesaba ukuduma kwezulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, inja ingase ihambe isuka ekhoneni iye kwelinye, idonse amathe kakhulu, futhi kuvele ukukhululeka noma ukuchama okungahleliwe. Akungabazeki ukuthi inja yethukile, inestress.

Okokuqala, dala umgoqo phakathi kwesimo sezulu nesilwane sakho esifuywayo. Amakhethini amakhethini. Vula umculo wangemuva omnandi ozophazamisa ukunaka ekudumeni ngaphandle kwewindi.

Indlela yokulumula inja ekwesabeni ukuduma kwezulu? Ukukhombisa ngesibonelo sakho ukuthi ukuduma kwezulu akukwesabi.

Zola futhi uzethemba. Nikeza isilwane sakho umsebenzi ohlanganyelwe othokozisayo. Phakamisa umngane wakho onemilenze emine ngamathoyizi nemidlalo esebenzayo ndawonye. Imidlalo yokulanda efanele, imidlalo yokudonsa - leyo lapho ukusebenzelana okuqhubekayo phakathi komnikazi nesilwane esifuywayo kudlala indima ebalulekile. Uke waqaphela ukuthi inja isikhohliwe ngokuduma kwezulu futhi ijabulela ukudlala nawe? Dumisa, unikeze ubumnandi.

Nokho, ungalokothi unikeze inja ukudla ngesikhathi sokwethuka nokwethuka. Lokhu kuzoqinisa kuphela ukuziphatha kwakhe okungaphumuli. Ziba ukuziphatha okungafuneki, ngaphandle kwalokho ngesikhathi esilandelayo isilwane esifuywayo esinobuqili sizobe sesilungele ukuzenza ukwesaba, ukuze nje sithole ukuphatha nokunakwa okwengeziwe.

Lokho, ngokombono womuntu, okungahunyushwa njengomzamo wokududuza, ukuqinisekisa, ngoba isilwane esifuywayo siyosho ukuthi “Umnikazi uyakuvumela ukuziphatha okunjalo, bayangincoma futhi bangiphakele izinto ezinhle lapho ngivevezela ngenxa yokwesaba.” Ungadali izinhlangano ezinjalo ezingalungile enja, kuyoba nzima kakhulu ukuqeqesha umngane onemilenze emine.

Ungafuni kakhulu ewodini yakho. Uma kulula ukuba inja ingadlali nawe ngesikhathi sokuduma kwezulu, kodwa ilinde ukuhlasela ekhoneni elithandayo elithokomele, lokhu kuvamile. Qaphela lapho isilwane sakho esifuywayo singene khona emkhubeni wokucasha ngesikhathi sokuduma kwezulu, futhi ulethe umbhede onethezekile, ingubo yokulala, ithoyizi eliyintandokazi lenja yakho kule ndawo, ubeke isitsha samanzi ahlanzekile. Uma inketho ethi "Ngisendlini" iseduze nomngane onemilenze emine, le ndawo yokukhosela mayibe lula ngangokunokwenzeka. Into eyinhloko ukuthi inja izizwa iphephile.

Ukwesaba ukuduma kwezulu ezinjeni kutholakala ngokuhlukile kuye ngesimo nobukhulu besilwane esifuywayo. Uma sikhuluma ngenja enkulu enezinzwa zensimbi, kuyokwanela ukuthi uvale amakhethini, ubeke umculo futhi uqhube ibhizinisi lakho ngokuthula, ungayinaki ukuduma kwezulu, isilwane sakho sizoba kahle. Uma sikhuluma ngenja enesibindi, kodwa encane, lokhu ngeke kwanele. Ngisho noma zingekho izimpawu ezisobala zokukhathazeka, kungcono ukunikeza inja umsebenzi othile othakazelisayo. Kungani ungagodli kusofa noma ucule ulandele eminye yemiyalo yakho oyithandayo? Khona-ke isiphepho sizofiphala nakanjani ngemuva.

Kungcono ukufundisa umdlwane wakho umsindo omkhulu kusukela ebuntwaneni. Khona-ke ngeke kube nezinkinga ngokuduma kwezulu.

Uma isilwane sakho sizwela kakhulu, kunengqondo ukuqala ukulungiselela inkathi yokuduma nombani kusengaphambili. Thola umsindo orekhodiwe omude wemisindo yokuduma nemvula, kusukela ekuqaleni kuka-April, dlala lokhu okurekhodiwe endlini amahora ambalwa ngosuku. Ekuqaleni kuthulile, ukuze isilwane siqaphele ukuba khona kwemisindo yokuduma, kodwa asesabi. Ngemva kwesikhashana, kancane kancane, kancane kancane, khulisa ivolumu yomsindo. Okufanelekile, lapho inja ihlangabezana nokuduma kwezulu kwangempela ngaphandle kwefasitela, ngeke ibonise ukukhathazeka okukhulu, njengoba isivele ikuzwa konke lokhu izikhathi eziningi ngokusebenzisa izikhulumi endlini yakho.

Indlela yokulumula inja ekwesabeni ukuduma kwezulu ngosizo lwezinhlangano ezinhle? Ungahlakulela umkhuba othile. Buka isibikezelo sezulu. Ngokushesha nje lapho amafu eqala ukuhlangana, phuma ngaphandle nenja, wenze umyalo, uvuze isilwane ngokuphatha. Bese uya endlini. Qaphela ukuthi inja izoba nobudlelwane obuhle nesimo sezulu esiguqubele kuphela uma uphinda leli qhinga njalo ngaphambi kwesimo sezulu esibi.

Uma zonke lezi zindlela ezingenhla zokusiza inja yakho inqobe ukwesaba ukuduma kwezulu zingasizi, funa usizo kudokotela wezilwane. Kungenzeka ukuthi inja, ikakhulukazi uma isuka endaweni yokukhosela, iye yahlangabezana nezinto ezimbi kakhulu ezihlobene nokuduma kwezulu esikhathini esidlule. Indaba yakho enemininingwane mayelana nempilo, imikhuba, imikhuba yenja izosiza uchwepheshe ukuba aqonde isimo futhi abone izinkinga ezithile ezifihliwe emehlweni ngisho nabanikazi abaqaphela kakhulu.

Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, ngisho noma amakilasi ane-zoopsychologist engazange anikeze umphumela oyifunayo, funa iseluleko sikadokotela wezilwane. Udokotela wakho wezilwane uzokhethela isilwane sakho okokuthoba futhi akuchazele ukuthi sisetshenziswa kanjani. Kodwa-ke, siyakunxusa ukuthi ushiye inketho nemithi njengendlela yokugcina futhi usebenzise imithi kuphela njengoba uyalelwe udokotela wezilwane.

Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukungazinaki isimo sesilwane, kodwa ukusebenza nokwesaba kwakhe. Cishe, lapho umngane onemilenze emine eqonda ukuthi akukho okubi okwenzekayo nxazonke, futhi umnikazi onomusa, onakekelayo uhlala ekhona futhi uzohlale emsekela, inkinga yokwesaba ukuduma kwezulu izosala. 

Sifisela wena nezilwane ezifuywayo ukuthi ninqobe njalo noma yibuphi ubunzima ngemizamo ehlanganyelwe!