Indlela ikati lami elingisize ngayo ukubhekana nokukhathazeka

Ziningi izinzuzo emcabangweni wokuba nekati, kodwa okunye okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uthole umlingani wokuphila unomphela. Ikati lakho elinoboya eliphenduke umndeni lihlala likhona futhi liletha ukuqina okuphephile nokududuzayo ezimpilweni zabantu abakhathazekile. Yebo, othile angathola izinzuzo zokwelashwa kwekati (njengoba kubizwa kanjalo ukwelashwa kokusiza izilwane ezifuywayo) ngokuvakashela umngane “oqashiwe” onoboya, kodwa kungcono kakhulu ukuba nesilwane sakho esifuywayo endlini.

Ukukhathazeka kungahlasela umuntu kunoma ibuphi ubudala, kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukubhekana nakho phakathi nenkathi yobusha naseminyakeni yobusha. Nakhu okubhala i-American Psychological Association: “Intsha ibika ukuthi amazinga ayo okucindezeleka phakathi nonyaka wesikole adlula kude lokho ecabanga ukuthi kunempilo (5,8 uma iqhathaniswa no-3,9 esikalini samaphuzu ayishumi) futhi idlula isilinganiso sokucindezeleka kwabadala (10) ,5,8 .5,1 entsheni uma kuqhathaniswa ne-XNUMX kubantu abadala)”. Yini umfundi noma umfundi okhathazekile angayenza ukuze azizwe ezolile futhi ezethemba?

Nansi indaba kaKennedy, intombazane elwa nokukhathazeka. Usanda kuthola izinyane lekati futhi wathola isitifiketi njengekati lokwelapha ukuze aliyise ekolishi njengengxenye yohlelo lwakhe lokwelapha ukukhathazeka.

U-Kennedy noCarolina baya ekolishi

Ebusheni, ukukhathazeka kungavela ngenxa yezizathu ezihlukahlukene - ukuyeka isikole, ukuhamba kude nabazali bakho, ukuqala impilo ekolishi - futhi ukubhekana nakho akulula. UKennedy, ongumfundi omusha eNyuvesi yaseNorth Carolina eGreensboro, wayazi ukuthi uzodinga ukwesekwa njengoba engena ekolishi. Ushiye ikhaya lakhe, kodwa akahlali endaweni yokulala ezungezwe abanye abasha abahlangabezana nemizwa efanayo futhi bedlula izinguquko ezifanayo. U-Kennedy uqasha indawo engaphandle kwekhampasi, futhi nakuba omakhelwane bakhe bengumfundi wasekolishi, kufanele enze umzamo owengeziwe wokwenza abangane abasha, ngoba akulula uma umuntu ehlushwa ukukhathazeka.

Kennedy uthi: “Bengilokhu ngithambekele ekukhathazekeni, kodwa phakathi neminyaka emibili edlule kuye kwakhula kakhulu. Ngaphambi kokuba ngithole izinyane lekati, ngangivame ukudweba izithombe, ngibukele i-TV noma ngigijime ukuze ngibhekane nokukhathazeka kwami.”

Intsha eningi ilwela ukuzimela, kodwa entsheni ethambekele ekukhathazekeni, injabulo ejabulisayo ingase ihlanganiswe nokudideka. Kennedy uthi: “Ngaqala ukucabanga ngokuthola izinyane lekati ukuze lilaphe esikhathini esingangonyaka esidlule, kodwa angizange ngilokothe ​​ngikwenze kwaze kwaba sekupheleni konyaka wami wokugcina esikoleni, lapho ngibona ukuthi kwakunezinguquko ezinkulu ngaphambi kwami. … nasekolishi”.

Ngakho waya endaweni yokukhosela izilwane ukuze athole izinyane lekati elingase libe isilwane sokwelapha futhi limsize abhekane nokukhathazeka kwakhe. Kunezilwane eziningi ezindlini zokukhosela ezidinga ikhaya kangangokuthi ukukhetha isilwane esifanele kungaba nzima kakhulu. “Ngangazi ukuthi kwakuyikati lami lapho ngibona indlela elalimnene ngayo nendlela elaliqala ngayo ukukhuhla ikheji ngezidladla zalo njengoba ngiya emnyango.” U-Kennedy waqamba i-kitten Carolina, futhi baqala ukulungiselela impilo yasekolishi ndawonye.

Ukuthola uKarolina kwakuyisixazululo esiphelele: izinzuzo zokuba nekati endlini zisobala. Kennedy uthi: “Ukukhathazeka kwami ​​sekunciphile, ikakhulukazi phakathi nenkathi yenguquko yokuqala ukuphila kokuzimela. Ngiyalithanda ikati lami. Kuwumuzwa omuhle kakhulu emhlabeni ukufika ekhaya ngemva kosuku olude futhi ngingene ekamelweni lami ngibone lesi silwane esihle esinoboya silele embhedeni wami.” Izinzuzo zokuba nekati endlini ukuze upholise imizwa yakho ekhungathekile zibalulekile.

Izinzuzo zokwelashwa kwekati

U-Kennedy wabhalisa ngokushesha i-Carolina njengekati lokwelapha. Ukwelashwa kwezilwane ezifuywayo kunenzuzo kuwo wonke amaqembu obudala, futhi njengoKennedy, kubaluleke kakhulu phakathi neminyaka yasekolishi enengcindezi. Azi mathupha ukuthi uCaroline ube muhle kangakanani ekulweni nokukhathazeka, uKennedy ufuna ukwabelana nabanye ngalesi sipho. Nakuba le ntombazane ingenazo izinhlelo eziqondile zokuletha uKarolina emphakathini njengekati elelaphayo, ngezinye izikhathi imema abangani ukuba baphumule futhi badlale nekati yakhe. “Ngimema abantu (engibaziyo) abasesimweni esicindezelayo ukuthi bazohlala nekati lami. Uyinqwaba yamandla amahle, futhi ngokuvamile ajabulisa abantu! Angikacabangi ukumyisa ezifundweni zokwelashwa ngaphandle kwekhaya, njengoba esemncane kakhulu.” Mhlawumbe esikhathini esizayo, uKennedy uzokwazi ukuyisa isilwane sakhe ekhaya lasebekhulile noma esibhedlela sezingane ukuze ajabulise abanye abantu.

Ukwamukela izinyane lekati kwakuyisinqumo samasu kuKennedy. Ophethwe wukukhathazeka uba nokuthula lapho egxila ezidingweni zabanye, futhi isilwane esifuywayo siyisiphazamiso esikhulu. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi umthwalo wemfanelo omningi ngokwawo ungabangela ukukhathazeka. U-Kennedy wakhetha ukuthola ikati lokwelapha phezu kwenja ngokwengxenye ngenxa yezinga lomthwalo wemfanelo elidingekayo. Uthi, “Kulula kakhulu ukuba nekati yokwelapha kunenja ngoba amakati azimele kakhulu futhi akudingeki ngikhathazeke kakhulu ngawo lapho ngiya ekilasini noma ngiphuma sekwephuzile.”

Indaba kaKennedy noCarolina ayijwayelekile. Enye yezinzuzo zekati endlini yikhono layo lokuthulisa abanikazi balo. Umuntu onenkinga yokukhathazeka ujabulela noma yiluphi usizo, ikakhulukazi kumngane wakhe ohlanzekile.

Uma ucabanga ukuthola ikati ukuthi libhekane nokukhathazeka, kuhle! Ngokuqeqeshwa okuncane nothando oluningi, ikati lakho lizokwenza okungeziwe okuhle emndenini wakho. Futhi khumbula: uma uthola ikati, ukuthula kuzofika ezimpilweni ezimbili ngesikhathi esisodwa - ngokwakho nasempilweni yekati elifuna ikhaya.

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Erin Ollila

U-Erin Ollila ungumthandi wesilwane esifuywayo okholelwa emandleni egama, ukuthi izihloko zakhe zingazuzisa abantu nezilwane zabo futhi zize ziziguqule. Ungamthola ku-Twitter @ReinventingErin noma ufunde kabanzi ngaye kokuthi http://erinollila.com.