Yini okufanele uyitshele ingane uma kushone ikati noma inja?

Muva nje uzwe: “Mama, iphi inja yami? Kungani engasahlali nathi? Uzohamba nawe ungabe usabuya njengaye?" Lapho inja ifa emndenini, izingane zivame ukuba nemibuzo eminingi futhi kungaba nzima ukuthola ukuthi ungayiphendula kanjani. Ukuchazela ingane ngokufa kwesilwane esifuywayo akuwona neze umsebenzi olula. Kuye ngeminyaka yazo, ukulila ngokufelwa yinja (noma ukufa okusondelayo) kungabangela ukudideka okukhulu, ingasaphathwa eyokucindezeleka, futhi izingane zidinga usizo lwabazali bazo ukuze zibhekane nesimo. Kodwa ungaqala kuphi? Ukuthini? Wonke umuntu unendlela yakhe yokutshela ingane lezi zindaba, futhi lokhu kuvamile. Uma ungazi ukuthi ungazichaza kanjani izingane zakho ukulahlekelwa, lawa macebiso amathathu angasiza.

1. Thembeka.

Ungase uthande ukuthambisa izindaba zokufa kwenja yakho, ikakhulukazi uma izingane zakho zisencane. Ungase ukuthole kulula kakhulu ukuguqula iqiniso futhi ubatshele ukuthi isilwane sabo esifuywayo esithandekayo kufanele sinakekele omunye umndeni oswele, noma ukuthi walandela iphupho lakhe futhi wahamba wayohlola amahlathi asendle ase-Australia, kodwa izindaba ezinjengalezi azizona. t njalo indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma. . Nakuba abanye abantu bethi izingane zihlakaniphe kunalokho ezibonakala zibonakala, iqiniso liwukuthi ziqonda okuningi ngokuqonda, hhayi ngokuhlakanipha, njengoba abantu abadala bekholelwa.

Wazi kangcono ukuthi lingakanani iqiniso okufanele ulitshele izingane zakho, kodwa ukuqondisa kuyosiza ingane ukuba iqonde isimo futhi iqale ukulungisa imizwa yayo. Phela ukufa kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila. Izingane zakho zizobhekana nalokhu ngokushesha noma kamuva, kokubili njengezingane nabadala, futhi nakuba ukufa kungeyona into elula, ukufunda ngakho endaweni ephephile kuyozisiza ukuba zibhekane nokulahlekelwa esikhathini esizayo.

Khumbula ukuthi ukwethembeka akusho ukuthi kufanele unikeze yonke imininingwane. Khetha amagama akulungele kakhulu, qiniseka ukuthi usebenzisa igama elithi “s” (njengasegameni elithi “ukufa”), kodwa weqa noma yimiphi imininingwane edabukisayo. Uma ungumuntu othanda inkolo noma udinga indlela yokudambisa igalelo, ungasho ukuthi uye ezulwini lenja, kodwa kungcono ukuchaza ukuthi lokho kusho ukuthini mayelana nempilo yenja yakho. Ungayidukisi ingane ngokumtshela ukuthi inja yakhe ayithandayo ikwenye indawo, izulazula emhlabeni, njengoba izoba yimbi nakakhulu lapho iqaphela iqiniso.

Uma isilwane sakho esifuywayo sisaphila, khuluma nezingane ngokugula noma ukulimala kwaso ngaphambi kokuba sife. Ukuchazela ingane ngokufa kwesilwane esifuywayo kulula kakhulu uma indodana noma indodakazi yakho yazi ukuthi akunakugwenywa futhi ayimangali ngezindaba. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi izingozi ziyenzeka futhi ezinye izinja zife zilele. Kulokhu, yiba nesineke lapho uphendula imibuzo engapheli mayelana nokuthi umngane wakho onoboya uzobuya futhi akhethe amagama akho ngokucophelela.

2. Yazisa imizwa yezingane zakho.

Lapho uchazela ingane yakho ngokufa kwesilwane esifuywayo, zilungiselele imizwelo ehlukahlukene. Izingane zakho zingase zikhihle izinyembezi, zibe novalo, noma zimane nje zingasinaki isimemezelo sakho. Yonke le mizwa nezenzo kuyindlela yokugaya izindaba. Izingane ezincane zisafunda ukuqaphela imizwelo yazo, ngakho ngokuvamile ziphendukela kubazali bazo ukuze ziqonde kahle ukuthi zizizwa kanjani. Ukulila ukufa kwenja kuwumsebenzi onzima, ngakho vuma imizwa yabo noma ngabe uzizwa ngendlela efanayo noma cha. Ngokwesibonelo sika-Kübler-Ross sosizi, abantu badlula ezigabeni ezinhlanu: ukuphika, intukuthelo, ukuxoxisana, ukucindezeleka, nokwamukela. Ukuze usize kangcono izingane zakho zibhekane nokulahlekelwa, zama ukuqonda ukuthi zikusiphi isigaba njengamanje, futhi khumbula ukuthi izingane ezihlukene zingase zibe semazingeni ahlukene noma zidlulele esigabeni esilandelayo ngamanani ahlukene.

Phakathi nesigaba sokuphika, khumbuza ngobumnene izingane zakho ukuthi inja yakho ayisaphili. Bekezela uma becasuka. Chaza izingane zakho ukuthi akukho ezingakwenza ukuze zenze umehluko uma zisesigabeni sokuxoxisana. Zama ukubakhuthaza uma bezizwa bedabukile, becindezelekile, futhi bebodwa, futhi bahlale bekhumbula isilwane sakho esifuywayo, ngisho nangemva kwesiteji sokwamukela.

Futhi inothi elilodwa: imizwa yakho ayihlali ihambisana nemizwa yezingane. Bangakwenza ngokushesha kunalokho obukulindele futhi ngokushesha kakhulu kunalokho ongakwenza. Lokhu kuhle. Vele ubabuke isikhashana ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi abayigcini imizwa yabo kubo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane zakho zingase zidikibale isikhathi eside kunesidingo. Ungajahi izinto. Uma ukhathazekile ngesimo sabo somzwelo, khuluma nomeluleki mayelana nendlela yokubasiza babhekane nemizwa yabo futhi banqobe ukulahlekelwa kwabo.

Inothi eyengeziwe – kulungile uma nawe udlula kule mizwa. Le nja bekuyisilwane sakho esifuywayo, ngakho-ke kungokwemvelo ukuzwa imbobo enhliziyweni yakho eyasala ngesikhathi ihamba. Ukubhekana nokulahlekelwa kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe njengoba kunjalo nakubantwana bakho. Bazothembela kuwe, ngakho udinga ukuqoqa amandla ukuze ubasize badlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima, kodwa akufanele ugcine imizwa yakho kuwe futhi. Izingane ziyaphikelela kakhulu; ungase uthole ukuthi uncike kubo uzama ukudlula kulolu sizi ngaphezu kokuba bencike kuwe.

3. Yiba nomcimbi wokuvalelisa nesilwane sakho esifuywayo.

Manje njengoba usuchazele ingane yakho ngokufa kwesilwane esifuywayo, ungase uzibuze ukuthi umndeni wakho ungasiyeka kanjani lesi simo futhi uqhubeke ngemva kwalesi sigameko esingesihle. Inja yakho ibithandwa kakhulu futhi kuzoba nzima ukwenza impilo yakho yansuku zonke ngaphandle kwemisebenzi yayo ejabulisayo ekhaya lakho. Kodwa-ke, izingane zizobheka kuwe njengesibonelo sendlela yokuphila ngaphandle kwenja.

Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokusiza izingane zililele ukushonelwa yinja ukuzimema ukuze ubambe umcimbi wokuvalelisa isilwane sakho. Ukwenza lokhu, ungabelana ngezindaba mayelana nezikhathi ezijabulisayo noma izinto ezihlekisayo ezenzeke emndenini wakho obumbene. Kucabange njengenkonzo yesikhumbuzo. Mema ugogo nomkhulu wakho, abangani bomndeni, noma izinja zasendaweni. Vumela izingane zakho zibambe iqhaza ekuhleleni. Bangakwazi ukufunda inkondlo noma benze ikholaji ngezithombe zesilwane esifuywayo.

Ungenza ngisho ne-scrapbook yempilo yenja yakho nezingane zakho. Qala ngezithombe zosuku lokuqala angena ngalo ekhaya lakho njengomdlwane, futhi ungakhohlwa ukufaka izithombe zemidlalo yakho kanye namaqiniso athakazelisayo mayelana nesilwane sakho. Isibonelo, ingane endala ingase ibhale ngendlela inja yayo ejabule ngayo ukugibela i-slide ngemuva kwendlu. Omncane angadweba isithombe somndeni ukuze asengeze ku-albhamu. Ngenxa yalokhu, wena kanye nezingane zakho niyohlale ninokuthile okubambekayo njengenkumbulo yomngane onemilenze emine.

Enye inketho ukunikeza impahla yenja yakho, njengokudla okusele okungavulwanga noma ukudla, imithi, noma amathoyizi, emtholampilo wakho wezilwane noma indawo yokukhosela yezilwane yangakini. Isilwane sakho esifuywayo singathanda ukwazi ukuthi izinto zaso zisiza ukunakekela ezinye izilwane noma zizenze zijabule. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane zakho zizokwazi ukubhekana nosizi ngokusiza abanye. Ziyozibonela ngawazo injabulo eziyiletha ekuphileni kwesinye isilwane, futhi lokhu kungabasiza baqhubekele phambili.

Uma usenovalo ngokuchazela ingane yakho ngokufa kwesilwane esifuywayo, cela usizo kudokotela wakho wezilwane. Usekhulume nemikhaya izikhathi eziningi ngokugula, ukulimala, nokufa okudabukisayo, ngakho angakunikeza iseluleko esihlakaniphile mayelana nendlela yokuxoxa nezingane zakho ngokulahlekelwa. Khumbula ukuthi lokhu kuzothatha isikhathi. Ungalokothi uzame ukususa imizwa yakho ngoba lokhu kungenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu. Ungagxumi uthole enye inja uma ungazizwa ukulungele ngempela - ngisho noma izingane zakho zikuncenga. Kuze kube yilapho ubhekana ngempela nemizwa yakho, enye inja ngeke ikwazi ukuthola lonke uthando oluyifanele.