Ikati layishintsha kanjani impilo yami

Ngonyaka odlule, lapho u-Hilary Wise ethatha ikati elithi Lola, wayengazi ukuthi impilo yakhe izoshintsha kangakanani.

Umndeni ka-Hilary ubulokhu unezilwane ezifuywayo, futhi wayehlalisana nazo kusukela ebuntwaneni. Wayethanda ukugqokisa amakati ezimpahleni zezingane, futhi ayekuthanda.

Manje, kusho uHilary, ubuhlobo obukhethekile nobuhle obuncane obuthambile bumsiza ukuba abhekane nezinkathazo zansuku zonke.

Impilo “ngaphambi”

Ngaphambi kokuthi u-Hilary athathe u-Lola kumngane wakhe owayeshiya lesi sifundazwe, waba nomuzwa wokuthi “ukucindezeleka kwakhe kwakwanda kakhulu: emsebenzini nasebudlelwaneni.” Wayenaka kakhulu ukuhlolwa kwabanye, ikakhulukazi lapho ezwa ukuthi “ukuxaka” kwakhe kumvimbela ekuxhumaneni nabantu.

UHilary uthi: “Kwakunokuningi okubi ekuphileni kwami, kodwa njengoba sengino-Lola, asikho isikhala sokungabi nandaba. Ungifundise okuningi okufanele ngikubekezelele nokuningi engingakunaki.”

UHilary uthi okwamshintsha kakhulu yindlela uLola aphila ngayo. Ebuka indlela ezolile ngayo umngane wakhe onoboya emhlabeni, kancane kancane intombazane iqeda ukucindezeleka.

U-Hilary uchaza ukuthi okwamsiza kakhulu kwakuyikhono lakhe elisha “lokubekezelela nokunganaki”, isibonelo, ukuhlolwa kwabanye. “Izinto ezazibonakala zibaluleke kakhulu kimi ngaphambili zavele zahwamuka,” esho emamatheka. “Ngama ngacabanga, kufanele yini ukucasuka ngalokhu? Kungani kwakubonakala kubaluleke kangaka ekuqaleni?”

U-Hilary, umhlobisi wezitolo, ukholelwa ukuthi ithonya elihle lika-Lola lathinta zonke izici zokuphila kwakhe. Intombazane ithanda ukusebenza esitolo esidayisa ubucwebe nezipho ezihlukile. Lo msebenzi umvumela ukuthi abonise ubuhlakani futhi asebenzise imibono yasekuqaleni.

“Ngangivame ukunaka kakhulu imibono yabanye,” kuvuma uHilary. "Manje, noma u-Lola engekho, ngihlala ngimi."

ilungu lomndeni

Lapho u-Hilary nesoka lakhe uBrandon beqala ukuthatha u-Lola, kwadingeka bazuze uthando lwakhe.

I-tabby, ikati elinobuso obumnandi, eyayineminyaka emithathu kuphela ubudala ngaleso sikhathi, yayingenabungane futhi ikude nabantu (mhlawumbe, u-Hilary ukholelwa ukuthi, umnikazi wangaphambili akazange amnake ngokwanele), ehluke njengezulu nomhlaba friendly, ikati esebenzayo lapho waphenduka.

Ngaleso sikhathi, u-Hilary wayeseneminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ehlala ngaphandle kwekati, kodwa amakhono akhe okunakekela izilwane ezifuywayo abuyela kuye ngokushesha. Wazimisela ukunqoba u-Lola futhi wanquma ukusondela ekwakheni lobu budlelwano obuyingozi nawo wonke umthwalo wemfanelo. “Ngangifuna nokuthi anginake,” kukhumbula u-Hilary. "Nikeza ikati lakho isikhathi, futhi lizokuphendula ngokufanayo." Ukholelwa ukuthi izilwane ezifuywayo ezinoboya akudingeki zifundiswe uthando nokudlala, kwanele "ukuba nje" nazo. Amakati adinga ukunakwa futhi angenza zonke izinhlobo zezinto uma engakutholi.

Phakathi nesikhathi sokwakha ubuhlobo, u-Hilary wayevame ukuphulula u-Lola futhi akhulume naye kakhulu. Uhlale esabela kahle ephimbweni lami, ikakhulukazi lapho ngicula naye.”

Ekugcineni uLola wakhula waba ikati eliziphethe kahle. Akasabesabi abantu. Ubingelela ngenjabulo u-Hilary noBrandon emnyango ongaphambili futhi ufuna ukuthi banake, ikakhulukazi uma bephazamisekile. “Uma ngikhuluma nomuntu, u-Lola ugxumela emathangeni ami enze umsindo,” kuhleka u-Hilary. U-Lola unamathela kwabanye abantu kakhulu kunabanye (njenganoma yiliphi ikati elizihloniphayo). Uzizwa uma kukhona “umuntu wakhe” eduze kwakhe futhi, ngokusho kwentombazane, wenza imizamo yokumenza azizwe “ekhethekile” naye.

ubungane kuze kube phakade

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, u-Lola usethanda ukuphonswa kwe-shaggy u-Hilary no-Brandon abasebenzisa ukuvala usofa, futhi ukubeka kucace ukuthi akafuni kususwe. Abantu abasha sebevele bavumelana neqiniso lokuthi i-plaid isiyingxenye ebalulekile yengaphakathi labo, kanye nezikhwama zegrosa zamaphepha kanye nazo zonke izinhlobo zamabhokisi, ngoba uma ubuhle obuthambile bufune amalungelo akhe kunoma iyiphi into, khona-ke uzokwenza. ungakuyeki. Ungalokothi!

U-Hilary unesizathu sokuziqhenya ngokuthi ukwazile ukwakha ubuhlobo no-Lola, futhi uyavuma ukuthi ukuphila kwakhe ngaphandle komngane onoboya bekuzohluka kakhulu. “Amakati anobungane [kunabantu],” kukhumbula intombazane. “Baphatha izinto ezincane ngesimo sengqondo esihle” futhi abasabela ngendlela ebuhlungu njengoba uHilary ayevame ukwenza. Uma ukuphila ngaphambi kukaLola kubonakala ngokucindezeleka ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo, khona-ke empilweni noLola kukhona indawo yokuzijabulisa okulula - ukulala ngengubo ethokomele noma ukucwilisa ilanga.

Ukuba khona kwekati endlini kuyithinta kanjani impilo yakho? Yini ekwenza ushintshe isimiso sakho kakhulu uma unesilwane esifuywayo? Impilo yakhe. U-Hilary wayeka ukubhema ngaphambi kokuthatha u-Lola futhi akakaze abuyele ekuluthweni kwakhe ngoba manje usenekati elizoqeda ukucindezeleka kwakhe.

Ku-Hilary, lolu shintsho lwaba kancane kancane. Ngaphambi kokuba abe noLola, akazange acabange ngeqiniso lokuthi ugwayi uyamsiza ekudambiseni ukucindezeleka. “Wavele wavumela ukucindezeleka ukuba kwenzeke” futhi “waqhubeka nempilo yakhe” ngokuqhubeka nokubhema. Kwabe sekuvela uLola, futhi isidingo sikagwayi sanyamalala.

U-Hilary uphawula ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukweqisa ukuthi konke okuzungezile kuye kwaba kuhle kangakanani ngokubukeka kukaLola. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane babo, imiphumela emihle yayigqame kakhulu, “kodwa manje sebeyingxenye yokuphila kwansuku zonke.”

Manje njengoba uLola eseyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kukaHilary, le ntombazane isizinzile ngokomzwelo. UHilary uthi: “Kuyadabukisa lapho ungenakukwazi ukuba nguwe. “Manje angikufihli ukuhluka kwami.”

Ukusebenzisa isibonelo sikaHilary noLola, umuntu angaqiniseka ukuthi ikati endlini akuyona nje ukuhlalisana komuntu nesilwane. Lokhu ukwakha ubudlelwano obushintsha impilo yakho yonke, ngoba ikati lithanda umnikazi walo ngalokho eliyikho.